Go Wales

Go wales

Go wales and what they have to offer and how they can help you get the future you want along with experience.

work placement and tasters
second and finale year students can apply

work taster – 2 work days or 2 weeks opportunities for work experience
working to deadline
get credited

E.g./ Sam Malloy graphics design communications and multi media studies

  • Alzheimer’s society.

    E.g./ Me – working with Katie at the hair salon and on the graphics project.

E.g./ Matthew Harrison creative media computing (graduate)
– recycled vintage chic ltd

Great for putting on CV (examples of projects and work you have taken part in, every little helps)

Real World

have real world work is the best because its hands on with the client and what there asking for. There’s a back and two of ideas, which im currently doing while im working with Erddig Hair Hair salon.

Work Placement
employer lead
forms 7 days availability
complete 1st year
2nd and 3rd live in wales
full time 225 hours up to 375 hours you get paid £260
there’s part time work all year around 

Job growth in wales
under 25 year olds
known to lead to full time work

Work tasters are designed to help young graduates
then there’s the graduate academy where it is a unique free programme that aims to provide unemployed graduates with the skills and support needed to gain graduate employment.

the benefits include:
-2 weeks full time residential training
-up to 4 weeks work experience, organised by go wales
-practical, commercial focus
-travel expenses of up to £100
-a daily training allowance
-career planning and job search support
-they also run a part time graduate academy for graduates who are employed in low skilled jobs .

Freelancer academy

the freelancer academy is a free 5 day training course designed to help entrepreneurial graduates to develop the skills, knowledge and confidence needed to work as a freelancer.

so whats in it for me?
-the starting your enterprise qualification awarded by the institute of leadership and management.
-course tutors with first hand freelancing experience.
-inspirational speakers  
-networking opportunities
-the chance to evaluate your business idea to assess it viability
-support and advice to create a winning business plan
apply online at
www.gowales.co.uk/freelanceracademy

having a job strategy

1) self awareness
2)researching company’s for interviews
3)Maximus exposure
applications

we are still able to use the go wales centre after we graduate

Shaun Roberts  

-it service
-fixing computers
-took over IT system
-IT Manager
-most challenging job he had
-decided to start a company
-PNA web designer
-marketing department
-lots of exsposure
-got in to Wrexham council (work exsperance)

take every opportunities

The latest and finale Idea for neg studies 1

The latest idea is that I work with student support on there mental health awareness day and film the event along with a question and answer section where I can go and ask certain students what and if they have experienced depression. 

Three simple questions
1)Have you or some one you know ever suffered with depression or mental health issues?
2)How did it make you feel and where you able to talk to some one who helped.
3)Did it help at all, where you treated any differently after you spoke about your issue.

this would also have other questions mainly to show what depression is along with statistics of how common the issue is.

I’m hoping to create a box pop which also has a element of drama. for example there will be a story going on as the questions are asked and you will see the character going through the motions of telling and trying to get help.

Plan B – Vidlets , whiteboard stories

Following my latest review, myself and the tutors came up with a new concept for neg studies 1 and a new process. Where before the main focus was on creating a documentary now it will be more of a creative view on a vidlet. A vid let if you as i was unsure of the idea is basically a video which tells a story with words and typography. Now if you look on line you will find many examples however my favourite ones I have found would have to be the whiteboard stories. For example this one

This basically tells you step by step a idea or story and is graphically presented to show not only creativity but also a product which isn’t just about reading in a essay form.

So whats this got to do with this blog and concept I bet your asking your self.
Well the idea is to create one of these visuals with a concept of mental health and depression, taking all of my research and entries for my dissertation or information to create a online portfolio and to use it in the form of a visual story telling white board video literature video. With me so far? good so basically it would mean working with animation students, graphics and typography students, possibly music department and talking with student support and creating a team to create the video. It might look fairly straight forward but the task at hand is not going to be easy and it is fair from a simple concept. This is more thinking out side of the pentagon rather than the box. seen as the idea takes me out of my comfort zone of video and photography and is now chucking my self in animation music and graphics.

So that is plan B rather than filming a complexed and highly likely a documentary that won’t get very fair as the topic isn’t one people tend to speak about I think the new idea is better. Yes its late on and i must be crazy but creativity comes from crazy some times.

Girl, Interrupted, the film, not the book.

Girl, Interrupted, the film, not the book.

Catherine Borders


I haven’t read the book. Nor do I plan to, at least not anytime soon. For several reasons. Reason the first: my friend, Ms. Jilian Clearman, warned me that the movie was superior to the book. A rarity, we know, but I generally trust her judgment on most matters. Reason the second: I have my book list for the next several months: La Medusa by Vanessa Place, Erotism by Bataille, The Book of Promethea by Hélène Cixous, Bram Stoker’sDracula, and The Letters of Mina Harker by Dodie Bellamy. I’m also rereading Andrea Dworkin’s Intercourse, which I think is great, despite her aggressively radical–*sullied*–reputation. Reason the third: the feat would be archaic, or rather, anachronistic to how I’m feeling now, or rather, to who I am now. Then, back when, about a decade ago, this movie really spoke to me, as it was supposed to. I was an outcasted, borderline, narcissistic, bipolar (in the colloquial sense), wannabe emo/goth/hippie chick that wrote obsessively in her diary about her promiscuous sexploitations. Girl, Interrupted was right up my alley. (Euphemism implied.)

Recently I rented the flick, and after not seeing it since my infatuation with it, I must say, aside from the overwhelming nostalgia for my reckless youth, cigarettes included, I was predominantly interested in Susanna Kaysen as outside of myself (as opposed to identifying with her/wanting to become her). I was intrigued by Susanna Kaysen the character, the writer, re-imagined, as unique, extraordinary, utterly complex and dark, gothic and interesting, then boiled down to simple and life-affirming insipidity. Her self-involved, self-projecting, self-personifying extended beyond herself and into the surrounding characters. Each girl, tucked away, locked inside a prism of category, a simple symptom filtered through then magnified to its ultimate fruition. Each girl represents one of her symptoms, making each girl merely a projection of Susanna herself. Kaysen divides herself, again and again, each copy, each personality trait less interesting than the previous, but all essential.

First, the most dominant and domineering, the trait knocking, banging, exploding behind the door is Lisa Rowe, the sociopath. There is a sociopath in each of us, strongest especially in children and teenagers, but through rigorous training, and the desire for social acceptance, for most of us, the sociopath is silenced, subdued, bargained into hibernation. Great stories are told when the beast is set loose again, when Jekyll becomes Hyde and does what we all deep down wish we had the guts to do. Lisa is Susanna’s guts, her id, her other, her mirror. When Susanna writes she writes what Lisa can just say.

“A man is a dad is a fuck is a chicken…Everyone knows he fucks you, what they don’t know is that you like it,” Lisa says to Daisy, another patient, ex inmate at this point, while Susanna covers her ears with a pillow in fear and disgust of Lisa, Daisy, herself, the situation, but mostly at her competing desires to out somebody’s secret, to expose their fear, their inner ids, the chaos, and yet maintain composure, propriety, and dignity, hers and Daisy’s. These are the glue that keeps society together, the grease that slicks the wheels of the turning cogs. Susanna knows the difference between kindness and truth, but she’s ambivalent where her alliance falls. Lisa has the ovarian fortitude to say what she wants, to call Daisy a fatherfucker, to crack the veneer of illusion, with Daisy’s permitted leave, her apartment, her whicker furniture. This statement of fact, Daisy the fatherfucker, helps Lisa sleep at night, it quells her jealousy and her anger that Daisy is considered sane while both she and Susanna are still prisoners. Of course Susanna thinks all this, but only writes it; she is a fence-sitter, powerless, stuck, impuissant, just as she is when confronted with Daisy’s swinging corpse. She can’t run from her death, but Lisa is already out the door.

The other inmates, the ones in the circle, the clique: the anorexic, the liar, the lesbian, and the ugly are not as crazy as the rest of the inmates in the background seem. They speak their minds, they hope, they feel sadness and anger. They’re real people, but only as real as symptoms personified can be. Symptoms, I’m arguing that Susanna is struggling with herself. Two of the symptoms, homosexuality and the Oedipal Complex, though in a woman’s case, the Electra Complex, are latent (or active!) in all of us.

(I’m not at all comparing fucking one’s father to coming out of the closet, I am, however, stating that sexuality works on a sliding scale. Everyone is bisexual, some more than others, just as some are more gay than straight and visa versa. Not everyone is willing to admit this, therefore the homosexual desires become buried, deep within the subconscious, where Freud places all our desires to fuck our gender-respective parents. This is all pop psychology, and each character in Girl, Interruptedfits neatly into a little mentally interrupted box.)

Also, Cynthia, in the book is not a lesbian, but a severely depressive patient who undergoes weekly electroshock therapy, and while we don’t actually see anyone receiving shocks, especially not Cynthia, who appears slow but normal, we get a brief mention of them, and it’s from Lisa, who was taken away because of an episode her and Susanna created. When she returns she grabs Susanna and tells her they must run away, Susanna, afraid and skeptical balks, to which Lisa persuades, “They gave me shocks again.” In other words, help me, save me, get me out of here before they fry my brain, my personality for good. Here, one recalls Drop Dead Fred and the erasing pills.

The anorexic desires to disappear. Susan Bordo writes on the subject of anorexia in her book Unbearable Weight. An anorexic strives to diminish her mass, the space she takes up, as much as possible. It is a disease that extends beyond thinness, beyond presupposed beauty. It is a disease fraught with death drives and invisibility. To not exist, to function as an object does, without machinations is a denial of the body as a living breathing organism. The anorexic considers herself deadweight. A dish of mold. Existing as pure existence, without the need for fuel, the denial of needing fuel. Cognitive dissonance that the body requires to eat, and so, without food, will eat itself. Complete corrosion, auto-erasure. Or, in the film’s case, maybe Janet simply functions as commentary on contemporary society’s love of thinness, our pro-ana gimmicks, and how every girl, whether she claims to be above it or not, is subject to the pressures placed on her weight via the media to be skinny. According to Bordo, anorexia nervosa is a disease that cannot simply be defined medically or psychologically, but must also be looked at from a cultural perspective. It is interesting that she was not at all in the book.

Both Janet and Cynthia are both examples of the film’s attempt to criticize Western culture in the 60’s as viewed from the mouth of the 90’s.

The ugly girl has a similar complex. Sometime during childhood Polly suffered severe burns all over her face and body. As a result, she acts like a perpetual child. She wears footie pajamas and can be seen carrying teddy bears and cuddling cats. When Susanna’s boyfriend pays her a visit, and the two sneak off into her room for a quick ride on the vertigo stick, Polly, or as Lisa calls her, Torch, is kneeling, peering into the crack under the door. Lisa asks her what she’s doing, which, out of embarrassment she says “Nothing,” Lisa tells her to go to her room and do nothing, which she does, in a sprint of tears and anguish. Later that night, she’s taken to the padded room at the end of the hall for combative or disruptive patients. She freaks because she’s ugly and she wants so desperately to have a sexual relationship but because she cannot bear her own image she guards herself with the guise of a child, something Susanna remarks on writing that Polly takes on the role of the child so that people can stand to look at her. After all, a scarred child is sad, causes sympathy, while a scarred adult dredges up feelings of disgust, repulsion, and pity.

Like the anorexic, the liar desires to conceal herself. Georgina is the sanest of the group, though an argument can be made for Cynthia, if she had more than six lines, none of which venture outside her “illness.” This personality trait, lying, faking, falsifying, this symptom is closest to Susanna’s borderline diagnosis. She is Susanna’s roommate both literally and figuratively. Georgina lies to the people that will keep her locked away because she’s clinging to a life made easier, a life where decisions are made for her, a life where she can dream and escape any and all responsibility. Georgina has found a way out of the existential dilemma of choice. A fairy-tale, in a way. She is the flip side to Susanna. While sanity for her is a choice, she chooses the comforts of hotel crazy.

Susanna is “normal,” but also a death-obsessed, lazy, self-indulgent, promiscuous, tragic, dramatic, histrionic little girl. She wants to be Ophelia, twirling in the tower of crazy, but not entirely ready, or able, to let her sanity go. Bottom line: Susanna is ambivalent. Unwilling to conform, and unwilling to let herself completely go mad. She tries, when Whoopi Goldberg throws her in the bathtub, but manages only to look ridiculous by forcing an act. The ham-fisted metaphor of the bathtub is to tell us that Susanna isn’t crazy at all, much as the title, suggests, she is just a girl, interrupted. If she wants out of the ward, or the bathtub, all she has to do is get herself out. All she has to do is confront her Lisa within.

So she sets her mind on doing just that. Lisa still hasn’t returned from their breakout, and while Susanna has the space to think, and write (because Lisa is gone), we’re given a montage of muted scenes showing Susanna talking, writing, and gesturing laid over with a series of life affirming axioms read by Winona as if we were catching glimpses into Susanna’s diary. These maxims and encouraging slogans seem to suggest she has crossed over, made the decision: she is back on the side of right, the side of mediocrity.

When you don’t want to feel, death can seem like a dream, but seeing death, really seeing it, makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous.

And thus, Susanna is cured of her obsession with her own death. No more pouring and preening over how and when. Now, it’s about life, and love. But she isn’t curedcured, not yet. She has to confront Lisa.

Though I miss Lisa, life without her was easier.

And then magically, Lisa returns. She’s pissed at Susanna’s successes, pissed that Susanna now thinks she’s better than everyone else. In the middle of the night, on her last night in the ward, Susanna wakes to find Georgina missing, along with her diary. In a pant she runs through the labyrinth of the institution, reminding us exactly how scary institutionalization really is (earlier that night another patient, one harmless and sweet, who has had no trouble, is seen hauled away screaming in a straightjacket), all the while hearing, but not seeing, Lisa reading her journal, mocking her, telling everyone else, which now is only Polly and Georgina, what Susanna really thinks.

Lisa is playing the villain, exactly like Susanna wanted. She’s living for Susanna, and here is where they argue about freedom. Susanna is about to be set free. But Lisa screams “I’m free! You don’t know what freedom really is.”

Girl, Interrupted appeared on screen in 1999, and the 90’s were a hotbed for pop psychologists. Soprano’s began its smash success, talk shows were all the rage, and millions of neurological pills were emerging (along with the symptoms these said pills were supposed to abate). Mental disease was on the rise, to each her own flavor, and everyone was desperate to get diagnosed.

And while Girl, Interrupted is set in the 60’s, the film reflects more the spirit of the 90’s. (Whoever controls the present controls the past.) For instance, as mentioned earlier, there is no lesbian or anorexic in the book, schizophrenia factors more heavily, there are two sociopaths, and everyone gets out in the end, including Lisa, whereas in the film, when Susanna’s voice-over says that she saw some later in life outside of the ward, there were others, pan camera over Angelina Jolie, that she never saw again. Of course, leading the viewer to assume, that Lisa remained lobotomized much to the effect of Randle Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I was left with the impression that Lisa must be sacrificed in order for Susanna to feel better, to feel normal, to be sane.

But in the end of the film, the truth is, the only truth that we see, is that only Susanna escapes alive, and though we are alluded to some of the other girls’ freedom, we don’t know who, nor do we see it, we only see Susanna fleeing the cuckoo’s nest, finally deciding on sanity and to abandon all the others, the others embedded within her, to a life of captivity, or as Lisa puts it, freedom.

Also, as a side note, the title was taken from a Vermeer painting. Girl Interrupted at Her Music, which I think, if I were to venture a guess, is Kaysen’s way of saying that mental illnesses, particularly the way mentally ill women were treated, à la Yellow Wallpaper and wandering uteruses, is basically an interruption of their otherwise normal lives. To be labeled insane and then locked away, particularly when one is not crazy, places the patient’s life on hold. For some this was desired, for others, it was an intrusion, just as this Des Cartes-looking figure is interrupting this poor girl’s lesson.

 

 

depression, grief and sadness

There are three things people tend to confuse: depression, grief and sadness. Grief is explicitly reactive. If you have a loss and you feel incredibly unhappy, and then, six months later, you are still deeply sad, but you’re functioning a little better, it’s probably grief, and it will probably ultimately resolve itself in some measure. If you experience a catastrophic loss, and you feel terrible, and six months later you can barely function at all, then it’s probably a depression that was triggered by the catastrophic circumstances. The trajectory tells us a great deal. People think of depression as being just sadness. It’s much, more  sadness, much too much grief at far too slight a cause.
We know depression through metaphors. Emily Dickinson was able to convey it in language, Goya in an image. Half the purpose of art is to describe such iconic states.
Although personally this is how I would describe depression.
Depression bares no truer form that that of happiness. See I fear depression because when you have all you need and not a worry in sight yet inside you are being tormented by your mind. Everyone see’s someone with everything and envies you for all you have yet inside your self is a little voice that despises you. Its not a case of well life is brilliant i’ll be happy now. Thats just sadness. For true depression it when you should be happy but even at your happiest you feel so hurt and so you hide. 
Depression is when you have everything but are led to believe the world wants nothing of you, it wants you gone your wasting oxygen for the people who truly need it. Your just a hypocrite in your eyes. How can you be so distort when you have the world at your fingertips.Thats how I’d try and explain the complexity that is the illness.